fixer upper, cockroaches, jiplap, and yoda

Ask me how long that "no sugar" thing lasted. Go ahead, ask. None of your beeswax...how rude.
Anywho, have y'all seen the newest season of Fixer Upper? Did you see Chip eat a cockroach? OH MAH GAH. Please Chip, no. Just, no. You are my favorite t.v. husband. You really are. You make me laugh. Your work is amazing. You are married to an angel. Please, for the love, do not eat insects ever again. You have scarred me for life.

Ew Chip, EW!

So, can we talk Fixer Upper? Chip & JoJo have, yet again, turned a sow's ear into a silk purse. If you don't know what that means, well then, you aren't from the south. I am always amazed at the vision that Joanna has. That JoJo, she has The Force y'all. She's like Yoda. A Southern Yoda. In the south, she'd probably be called "Yoder"...but I digress...
Lookie here...

Where do I begin? The shiplap (or as my husband calls it, "jiplap" because he thinks he's hilarious and knows it makes me twitch...bless his heart)? The subway tile? The open pipe shelving? The dreamy island made from reclaimed wood (by Harp Design Co.)? Yes to all of the above.

Then we have the dining area with it's walls and shelving and walls and chandelier and those walls. I like the walls. Really. That wall color is Sherwin Williams "Dovetail". I want to paint every single wall in my house this color, and possibly the barn, the exterior of my home, my dog, and my car. It looks somewhat similar to what I currently have in my home (Benjamin Moore's Revere Pewter), but maybe with a little less grey and a little more taupe (By the way, the word "taupe" is like a combination of "tan" and "nope". While we are talking about words that I have an opinion on, "moist" is the grossest of gross words.).

And this shelving. Looks simple enough, but I don't think my paperbacks of Beverly Cleary and An Idiots Guide to Pick-Your-Title would look quite as swanky. I guess I'd have to go raid my grandma's bookshelves, and maybe her old moonshine bottles. Just kidding, my grandma doesn't drink. She is quite a pool shark though.  

And OHHHH the jiplap shiplap. Be still my fluttering heart. I have a fireplace that this would look just spectacular on. It was ugly shiny brick, and I have painted it white. It definitley needs some shiplap though, and a better mantle, and Joanna to come style it for me. Not too much to ask.

So, are y'all tuning in tonight? What will Chip eat? What baby farm animal will make it's debut? How many times will Joanna say the word "shiplap"? Will Shorty make an appearance? How many times will Chip be topless? 

By the way, now that the weather is nice, I hope to get back into the workshop this week and paint some more. I have several pieces that are THHHHIS close (imagine your thumb and pointy finger mere millimeters apart from each other) to being done. Oh, and the round pedestal table in my shop is $100 off!!! We're stacking 'em deep and sellin' 'em cheap :)

Y'all tune in to HGTV tonight at 8:00 (Texas time) and let me know what you think. You can follow me on Twitter @linenandgrey1. I might just post of pic of my goat and me for the Fixer Upper contest. I mean, who doesn't love a picture of a baby goat? No one I tell ya'. No one!

first post of 2015 (I have no clever title because SUGAR WITHDRAWALS)

Well, it's over. The holidays are behind us and we must all return to life as usual. I am fairly certain many of you had holidays much like mine. Lots of sleeping in, lots of sugar, lots of kids all up in your grill every minute of every day, and zero routine. All of these things are a recipe for disaster upon re-entry to "normal life". We are diving in head first tomorrow morning. Alarms are being set, lunches are being made, mid-morning cocktails may or not make an appearance. Just kidding (no matter what you may have heard).
So, as you can tell, I have mixed feelings about the post-holiday schedule. BOO to alarm clocks, YAY to children outta my face. I do love my kids, but the constant barrage of new toys + lots of sugar + no schedule = grumpy mom who is totally over it in all of the ways.
So, since we are talking about changes, did you make a New Year's resolution (or as I affectionately call it "what you will be feeling guilty about completely giving up on by mid-February")? Don't feel bad, I have tried to lose weight for about 15 years now. Stretchy pants and carbs love me more than skinny jeans and celery apparently. Also, closing in on 40 is a whole different level of "what in the world is going on with my body?". It's okay. I am just going to do the best I can. I got a Fitbit, and threw out the Christmas candy. I'm not going to make checks my body can't cash (and my body is currently overdrawn).
Sorry, it's the candy withdrawals. It's been like 2 hours. This is going to be rough, man.
Speaking of furniture, I have lots of pieces I am working on right now, but it is going to be like -217 degrees for the next couple of days, and the last piece I worked on in the freezing cold didn't take the paint well, so it will have to wait. I will also be detoxing from sugar, waking up before dawn, and getting back to our routine, so I will need all of my strength and body heat to survive. I'll get back in the shop later in the week when it doesn't feel like the Arctic Tundra outside. You know us Texans, we can power through the blistering August heat like nobody's business, but people lose their minds when it dips below freezing. I am trying to prepare myself for the "Arctic Blast" reports breaking in to my regularly scheduled programs for the next couple of days.
That's all I've got. I have to do some Downton binge watching now considering I am about one-and-a-half season behind and the new one starts tonight.