fixer upper, cockroaches, jiplap, and yoda

Ask me how long that "no sugar" thing lasted. Go ahead, ask. None of your beeswax...how rude.
Anywho, have y'all seen the newest season of Fixer Upper? Did you see Chip eat a cockroach? OH MAH GAH. Please Chip, no. Just, no. You are my favorite t.v. husband. You really are. You make me laugh. Your work is amazing. You are married to an angel. Please, for the love, do not eat insects ever again. You have scarred me for life.

Ew Chip, EW!

So, can we talk Fixer Upper? Chip & JoJo have, yet again, turned a sow's ear into a silk purse. If you don't know what that means, well then, you aren't from the south. I am always amazed at the vision that Joanna has. That JoJo, she has The Force y'all. She's like Yoda. A Southern Yoda. In the south, she'd probably be called "Yoder"...but I digress...
Lookie here...

Where do I begin? The shiplap (or as my husband calls it, "jiplap" because he thinks he's hilarious and knows it makes me twitch...bless his heart)? The subway tile? The open pipe shelving? The dreamy island made from reclaimed wood (by Harp Design Co.)? Yes to all of the above.

Then we have the dining area with it's walls and shelving and walls and chandelier and those walls. I like the walls. Really. That wall color is Sherwin Williams "Dovetail". I want to paint every single wall in my house this color, and possibly the barn, the exterior of my home, my dog, and my car. It looks somewhat similar to what I currently have in my home (Benjamin Moore's Revere Pewter), but maybe with a little less grey and a little more taupe (By the way, the word "taupe" is like a combination of "tan" and "nope". While we are talking about words that I have an opinion on, "moist" is the grossest of gross words.).

And this shelving. Looks simple enough, but I don't think my paperbacks of Beverly Cleary and An Idiots Guide to Pick-Your-Title would look quite as swanky. I guess I'd have to go raid my grandma's bookshelves, and maybe her old moonshine bottles. Just kidding, my grandma doesn't drink. She is quite a pool shark though.  

And OHHHH the jiplap shiplap. Be still my fluttering heart. I have a fireplace that this would look just spectacular on. It was ugly shiny brick, and I have painted it white. It definitley needs some shiplap though, and a better mantle, and Joanna to come style it for me. Not too much to ask.

So, are y'all tuning in tonight? What will Chip eat? What baby farm animal will make it's debut? How many times will Joanna say the word "shiplap"? Will Shorty make an appearance? How many times will Chip be topless? 

By the way, now that the weather is nice, I hope to get back into the workshop this week and paint some more. I have several pieces that are THHHHIS close (imagine your thumb and pointy finger mere millimeters apart from each other) to being done. Oh, and the round pedestal table in my shop is $100 off!!! We're stacking 'em deep and sellin' 'em cheap :)

Y'all tune in to HGTV tonight at 8:00 (Texas time) and let me know what you think. You can follow me on Twitter @linenandgrey1. I might just post of pic of my goat and me for the Fixer Upper contest. I mean, who doesn't love a picture of a baby goat? No one I tell ya'. No one!