Friday, July 5, 2013

women under attack

We are under attack. Not by WMDs or biological warfare, but our media. Our media has us (or is trying to have us) convinced that women are supposed to do and have it all. That it is our God-given right. That it is our responsibility. That it is our duty. If we cannot do or be all of these things, then we are a failure to ourselves, our spouse, our children, our friends, our family, our church and our employer. We are to have bodies that are taut, toned, tanned, free from blemish, varicose veins, cellulite, scars, fat, and excess skin. We are to wake up early to get in our quiet time, work out, shower and get ready for the day before we make our children and husbands a delicious homemade breakfast. No Pop Tarts or frozen waffles allowed! We are to go about our day full of enthusiasm and energy, with smiles on our faces. Lunches are homemade and nutritious, our homes are clean and well-decorated, and our dinners are a work of art. We are to do all of these things and still have the time and energy to "wow" our husbands any time they desire...but we don't mind. We enjoy it. We have no self-esteem issues. No body issues. No issues with anything because we are the "perfect" women. There is nothing we CANNOT do. There is nothing we CANNOT be. That's what we are told, so if we CAN'T, then it is our fault. Right? Wrong. Dead wrong. We cannot be all things to all people. We are not all 5'10" and naturally have the metabolism of a teenage boy. (Some of us are 5'2" and have the metabolism of a slug AND our thighs touch...yes, some of our thighs actually touch.) We are not all super moms like "everyone else" (newsflash: they aren't either). We do not throw the best parties (we get cupcakes from Walmart and are frazzled after a sleepover with seven little girls). We do not have the cleanest houses (and can barely keep the laundry from looking like Mt. Kilimanjaro and smelling like death). We do not wear designer clothes (we shop the sale rack at Old Navy). Our kids are not perfect (we can barely keep them from climbing to the top shelf at the grocery store to get the Pop Tarts that we may, or may not, feed them for breakfast the next morning). We do not have the perfect husbands (sometimes they don't buy us flowers or they might not be able to rewire the house). We are not hyper-sexed women who woo our husbands to bed each night in sexy lingerie for "movie worthy" husband/wife time (we are freaking exhausted, and have been NEEDED all day long by our non-perfect children, and just want to watch t.v. and not be needed for a half second, and not want to have to "perform", and even though it is very kind that you insist that we don't have to, we feel like the "good wife" should, and we feel unattractive because we are noticing those "laugh lines" aren't so funny when they are on OUR face, and our tummy has a nice little pooch thanks to three C-sections and the inability to get to the gym the recommended hour a day, five days a week, and our boobs sag from breastfeeding those three C-sections babies, and our roots are showing, and we haven't shaved in three days). We can't be the President of the PTO, and room mom, and team mom, and lead a Bible study, and be a Sunday School teacher, and be at all of their games. Oh, and don't forget date night. Aren't we supposed to do that once a week so we have time to "keep the flame burning" with our husbands? 
We are to look to the Lord for our sense of significance. We are to see ourselves as God sees us. As perfectly imperfect reflections of Him. We are to be Proverbs 31 women. Let me let you in on a little secret: I am so intimidated by her. Have you ever read it? It is a biblical version of what we see and hear by our media. Please know, I am not saying that God, in his infinite wisdom, has set us up for failure. Actually, I think it is his way of making us depend on Him. He has set the standard very high, as it should be. We just have to figure out what the Proverbs 31 woman looks like today...
I think she is confident in herself. Confident in her Godly husband. Confident in the way she raises her imperfect children. She gives them, and herself grace. She loves people. She loves all people. She is prayerful throughout her day, not just in her quiet time (that she may or may not get that day). She isn't perfect, but she is perfectly made. God created us to always be "becoming". We are to strive to "become" the Proverbs 31 woman. We are to lean on Him to be Jesus to others. It is a tall order, but we can do it. Let me let you in on another little secret: nobody is perfect. Models are airbrushed. Husbands lose their temper. Children break stuff. Most women have cellulite (even models). In time, all of our boobs will sag (unless we get them lifted) and we will have wrinkles (unless we botox them out) and we will put on a few pounds (unless you don't, then you are a liar). 
Folks, I struggle. My self-esteem gets flattened countless times. I don't have it figured out yet, and I definitely don't see myself the way Our Creator does. All we can do is pray. Pray for each other. Pray for ourselves. Pray for our children. Pray that our boys look at the beauty within when the time comes for him to meet his wife. Pray that our girls really embrace that beauty is the Holy Spirit radiating from within and not the color of your skin or the curve in your body. Pray that our husbands can be strong in their faith and conviction when they are bombarded by the imagery and the lies that are fed to them by movies, billboards, commercials, etc. They, more than anyone, need our prayers to be faithful. And we must rise up to our calling as wives and be that Proverbs 31 woman. One last little secret: she wasn't perfect either ;)

Blessings to you!
Jenn